Riverboat Sam: “A Yankee in King Scott Walker’s Court”

[Photo by Underwood & Underwood (Public domain), via Wikimedia Commons]

By Riverboat Sam

As the “technical specialist” of this electrical rag, I am not supposed to butt in with my own political pontificating, but my residence in this here Wisconsin has so far been thoroughly provoking. Being quite advanced in age, I know humbug when I see it, and the politicos now in charge of this splendid state (geographically speaking) are some of the humbuggiest hucksters I’ve ever encountered.

Take, for instance, this hokum about forbidding the daughter of a famous Wisconsin politico/conservationist who is herself a prominent conservationist employed by some state edifice called “Board of Commissioners of Public Lands” to even talk about the great heat wave washing over the globe. The globe, last time I looked, includes Wisconsin public lands, and that’s just a simple matter of geography which the Bored Commissioners, two of ’em, can’t seem to get their little round skulls around. The La Follette fella put it straight and true: “I’ve never seen such nonsense.”

I’ve seen it.  Back in my writerly prime we called this kind of nonsense a far more colorful and odoriferous thing, but the world’s gotten dirtier and the language cleaner since then. I’ll settle for petty so as not to offend our sensitive editor. Petty? Lord, it’s downright pre and post posterous. Which brings to mind posterior which brings to mind . . .  No, I won’t say it. I don’t have to. I’ve already said more than I probably should have.

I tried reading my own autobiography and couldn’t get through the first volume. Too much volume. I didn’t bother with Volume 2, even if it is “uncensored.”  I don’t usually hold with censoring, especially the censoring of women and conservationists. But having lived my life, I think some censoring at this late date is in order. Would you want everything you’ve ever said or wrote published?

Alright, I’ll say it. If you don’t think the human animal is causing the globe to unnaturally warm, and you try to keep other people from even talking about it, the scientific evidence leads to this conclusion: you’re an ass in need of wising up. Put that in Volume 3.

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