(Photo by schooner guest [Attribution], via Wikimedia Commons)
By John Kaufman
Wisconsin’s GOP-controlled Assembly is assembling two bills aimed at achieving less freedom for the unemployed and people on food stamps. Thus the party of “freedom” and “faith” is displaying neither democratic generosity nor religious charity, though we should all be grateful they haven’t tried so far to end all state participation in such “mooching” from the public pot.
If applying for unemployment insurance in Wisconsin, you will soon likely have the heavy hand of government testing your urine. If you receive food stamps in Wisconsin, you may not, say our royal Republicans, choose to buy lobster or other shellfish, for they are now deemed luxuries only the well-off are free to purchase. Yes, hard choices must be made, but if you want to forgo cheese, say, to splurge on some lobster, Republican Wisconsin will forbid it. (I suspect such crabbiness regarding lobster would not fly in Maine.) As for buying cheese, well, sharp cheddar, the best kind, is also now off-limits unless you first use up two-thirds of your benefits on what the government says is good for you, including mild or blah-tasting cheddar.
Surely WI Republicans ought to be crowned with cheeseheads for such totalitarianism towards the poor.
P.S.— Sources tell me that there is no truth to the rumor that WI Republicans are planning to force the poor to consume old styrofoam cheesehead headgear. Nor are our Republicans recommending that the poor consume their own children, as an Anglo-Irish satirist once did. “Thank God for small favors” my Irish grandmother used to say.