Let’s just build a wall around Wisconsin

Since the building of really big walls for the good of the nation is now a popular idea among some Americans, especially Republican presidential candidates and a former Republican presidential candidate,  Wisconsin Republicans now governing the state should consider building a wall around the state’s borders. Such a wall would keep the wrong people out and the right people in.


“A gate of the Wall of China, explaining its structure”. An illustration from Athanasius Kircher’s China Illustrata, 1667. By An artist working for Athanasius Kircher in Rome, possibly based on a sketch of a Jesuit in China (The original Latin edition of China Illustrata) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

A border wall would be, of course, very expensive, but it would solve a number of problems.

Once the big wall is built no one would be allowed to enter Wisconsin without a valid state ID on election days; this would eliminate any chance of people from surrounding states entering the state to vote in Wisconsin elections. Though this sort of  voter fraud may not have actually occurred in the past, we cannot, these days, be too careful.

A big wall around Wisconsin will make sure that anyone getting illegally past a Mexico border wall or a Canadian border wall won’t make it into the state.

And a really big, well-guarded wall would make sure that Wisconsin corporations could not move their factories and jobs out of the state. “Just where do you think you’re going, Oscar Mayer?”

Furthermore, anyone entering or leaving Wisconsin would be charged a toll at the wall to help pay for and maintain the wall and pay back the rich who now can secretly fund political campaigns.

But the best reason to build a towering wall around the entire state of Wisconsin is to keep out foreign terrorists disguised as impoverished, traumatized refugees, including children. In fact, this may be the only way Wisconsin Republicans can prevent refugees escaping the war in Syria from entering the state, since the Constitution is much too liberal a document and not much of a wall at all.

A wall this big will certainly need to be named. Here’s my suggestion: the Governor Walker Great Wall of Liberty.

P.S.– My apologies to Kevin Drum, columnist at Mother Jones, for stooping to a bit of mockery on the issue of states refusing to accept Syrian refugees. Drum says liberals should “knock off the mockery.”  –JK

P.P.S.– A good nickname for the GWGWL might be– “Unintimidated.”

FinallySee Joan Walsh’s Nation piece on Speaker Ryan’s call for keeping Syrian refugees out and her appropriate response to Mr. Drum.

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