Category: Political Ditties by Rumple Oxbridge
Rumple Oxbridge: “Twitter Totter”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist I’ll say this much for Twitter: It’s Tr——p’s Achilles’ Heel. Eventually he’ll tweet something so far beyond the pale, almost every Republican will admit the news is real. They will stand before a mic to boldly, angrily reveal— “Hillary hacked the president with a scandalous e-mail!” For evidence they will point to a tweet from you know who.
Rumple Oxbridge: “The More War Sonnet for Afghanistan”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist Trump has a plan to fix Afghanistan: more war will do what war has not before. It is a plan not hard to understand his “war cabinet” advises–War fails? Try more. Eventually this war will have to end but stopping war before we win is like un-masculine and feminist. Pretend (riding on a wheel-less warrior-bike) we’re getting to … Read More Rumple Oxbridge: “The More War Sonnet for Afghanistan”
Rumple Oxbridge: “Ode About Not Missing Statues of Racist Generals”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist It’s sad to see, the president said, knocking down our metal-molded racist generals green with age. Once such men were all the rage, killing to keep owning slaves. You gotta admit, they looked brave on their green horses, on pedestals, so “beautiful” were those generals as all the monuments to war obscuring what all war is for: killing … Read More Rumple Oxbridge: “Ode About Not Missing Statues of Racist Generals”
Rumple Oxbridge: “Nuclear War Prayer?”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist A Reverend says that God has stated President Trump can blast to Hades anyone Trump thinks is evil. The Reverend points to the Bible to prove that killing by a ruler is fine if the other ruler’s crueler. This sort of Anti-Christianity preaches it’s wimpy and downright weak not to “take out” your enemies, pre-emptively turning other cheeks into … Read More Rumple Oxbridge: “Nuclear War Prayer?”
Rumple Oxbridge: “Liberal Verse is No Crime”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist A journalist of the conservative type has branded my satirical prayer “a crime against the idea of verse.” Well, well. I plead guilty in this literary sense: my verse lacks the sort of literariness that isn’t concerned with truth or nonsense. In other words, it’s a verse of ideas that doesn’t shy from meter or rhyme, the fear of sounding … Read More Rumple Oxbridge: “Liberal Verse is No Crime”
Rumple Oxbridge: “Trump’s ‘major, major’ getting tough with the Koreas”
By Rumple Oxbridge, radical rhymer The president says diplomacy is “very difficult” so we may have a “major, major conflict” [war] (lots of majors, lots of gore) with Koreans of the North. As for Koreans of the South, Trump says they owe us for the clout of the new missile system “THAAD.” Besides, our trade agreement’s bad and we’re tired of being had … Read More Rumple Oxbridge: “Trump’s ‘major, major’ getting tough with the Koreas”
Rumple Oxbridge: “The Mother of All Bombs”
By Rumple Oxbridge (The Pacific’s unreal radical rhymer) How many mothers can it kill, this “mother of all bombs?” It’s only dropped on terrorists we’re certain have no wombs. What is the mother of this bomb– fear, or hate, or profit? Your question makes no sense to us. Our job is just to drop it. How can you be so sure this bomb will not … Read More Rumple Oxbridge: “The Mother of All Bombs”
