Category: Political Ditties by Rumple Oxbridge
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Twitter Totter”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist I’ll say this much for Twitter: It’s Tr——p’s Achilles’ Heel. Eventually he’ll tweet something so far beyond the pale, almost every Republican will admit the news is real. They will stand before a mic to boldly, angrily reveal— “Hillary hacked the president with a scandalous e-mail!” For evidence they will […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “The More War Sonnet for Afghanistan”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist Trump has a plan to fix Afghanistan: more war will do what war has not before. It is a plan not hard to understand his “war cabinet” advises–War fails? Try more. Eventually this war will have to end but stopping war before we win is like un-masculine and feminist. […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Ode About Not Missing Statues of Racist Generals”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist It’s sad to see, the president said, knocking down our metal-molded racist generals green with age. Once such men were all the rage, killing to keep owning slaves. You gotta admit, they looked brave on their green horses, on pedestals, so “beautiful” were those generals as all the monuments […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Nuclear War Prayer?”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist A Reverend says that God has stated President Trump can blast to Hades anyone Trump thinks is evil. The Reverend points to the Bible to prove that killing by a ruler is fine if the other ruler’s crueler. This sort of Anti-Christianity preaches it’s wimpy and downright weak not to […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Liberal Verse is No Crime”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist A journalist of the conservative type has branded my satirical prayer “a crime against the idea of verse.” Well, well. I plead guilty in this literary sense: my verse lacks the sort of literariness that isn’t concerned with truth or nonsense. In other words, it’s a verse of ideas that doesn’t […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Trump’s ‘major, major’ getting tough with the Koreas”
By Rumple Oxbridge, radical rhymer The president says diplomacy is “very difficult” so we may have a “major, major conflict” [war] (lots of majors, lots of gore) with Koreans of the North. As for Koreans of the South, Trump says they owe us for the clout of the new missile system “THAAD.” Besides, our […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “The Mother of All Bombs”
By Rumple Oxbridge (The Pacific’s unreal radical rhymer) How many mothers can it kill, this “mother of all bombs?” It’s only dropped on terrorists we’re certain have no wombs. What is the mother of this bomb– fear, or hate, or profit? Your question makes no sense to us. Our job is just to drop it. How […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “On Pornography”
By Rumple Oxbridge, The Pacific’s radical rhymer, sometimes referred to as “rhymer-in-residence.” I was going to say a little goes a long way but if I may be so bold why should any sex be sold? Watching nakedness cavort suggests it’s just a spectator sport; love is touching when eyes are closed– open, it’s just rubbing.
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Rumple Oxbridge: “The Death of Old King Coal”
By Rumple Oxbridge , imaginary rhymer-in-residence at The Pacific Old King Coal was a polluted old soul And a sick old soul was he. He called for his pick, and he called for his shovel And he called for his draglines three. Every dragline needed one man, Just one man and greed To scrape the heads of […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Playing the Trump Card”
By Rumple Oxbridge (imaginary imaginer at The Pacific) House Speaker Paul Ryan spoke Donald Trump “is not conservatism.” Thus many Repubs are chumps because they think the Donald is the purest for of all the raving ranters he’s the surest. (When it comes to bigotry Trump’s a purist.) Trump wins the most conservatively-correct according […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “In Ignorance We Cannot Trust”
By Rumple Oxbridge (imaginary rhymer-in-residence) What Gov. Walker learned, at last, is this: ignorance is only bliss if ignorance is all there is — “In God We Trust” will soon go bust if you think God thinks for us. [For the NY Times’ Frank Bruni column, 800 words of prose on the relationship between Gov. Walker, Republican […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “A Controversial Poem”
(Photo copyright: Public Domain–U.S.) By Rumple Oxbridge, a man of few and controversial words, a few of which rhyme “Controversial” is a dodge that journalists use to avoid the having to choose a better, truer word like “kooky.” To wit: “The law put forth by Sen. Crooky that requires everyone to vote for him is controversial. […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Ode to Jack, My Apolitical Dog”
(Photo by Jocelyn Augustino (This image is from the FEMA Photo Library.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons) By Rumple Oxbridge (The Pacific’s imaginary rhymer-in-residence) My dog is apolitical as dirt. Jack licks anyone whose hand is warm and open as a flirt. More democratic than the Democrats, Jack barks only at the cruel. Will he bless or […]
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Rumple Oxbridge: “Breasting Men”
By Rumple Oxbridge (The Pacific’s purely imaginary in-house rhymer) Breasting Men To get it off their chests some women bare their breasts. But looking so arresting can get them arrested because it’s men they’re breasting. [A verb form of breast means to oppose or fight against. Thus the final (and title) pun.]–JK
The Pacific 