Within the White House the forecast is "Stormy." But the president swears that NOTHING porny Ever happened with that woman hushed With money that had NOTHING to do with slush. Lawyers pay off porn stars all the time Right before elections . . . with their own dime Without the knowledge of the one was…
Satires
T.S. Swanky: “A Gun is Free Speech” [Satire]
By T.S. Swanky, an imaginary, confused conservative Civil liberties? Let's just call them "liberal liberties" from now on. I was barely recovered from the shockingly disturbing news that President Trump and Steve Bannon were parting ways, when I read that the ACLU, which had bravely stood up for the rights of racists to express themselves…
Continue reading ➞ T.S. Swanky: “A Gun is Free Speech” [Satire]
An Alleged Copy of a White House Transcript Provided Courtesy of Russia [Satire]
By JFK Discussion in the Offal Oval Office of The White House via Great Generosity of Russia !Official Transcript! cc: U.S.A. Russian Foreign Minister: Hey, Donny. What's new? President T.: I get great intel. I have people brief me on great intel every day. F.M.: No kidding. What's "intel"? T. : You know, secret stuff. I…
Continue reading ➞ An Alleged Copy of a White House Transcript Provided Courtesy of Russia [Satire]
Riverboat Sam: “Our President is Singing Like a Canary”
By Riverboat Sam, technical specialist/digital skeptic If brevity is the soul of wit, Twitter is the home of witlessness. The problem as it strikes a very old guy like me is as stated: Twitter is to publication like spitting is to art. OK, I'll spell it out for you. Not many people are good at off…
Continue reading ➞ Riverboat Sam: “Our President is Singing Like a Canary”
T.S. Swanky: “Darwin was Right About Health Care” [Satire]
By T.S. Swanky, The Pacific's imaginary, confused conservative When liberals say they value scientific theories like evolution and "global warming," what they mean is that they like liberal science, the kind that makes them feel good about hating religion, industry and America. But what about conservative science, you know, all the research that confirms that corporations, President…
Continue reading ➞ T.S. Swanky: “Darwin was Right About Health Care” [Satire]
Riverboat Sam: “Night Surfing Not a Brilliant Idea”
"We hear all our lives about the 'gentle, stormless Pacific,' and about the 'smooth and delightful route to the Sandwich Islands,' and about the 'steady blowing trades' that never vary, never change, never 'chop around,' and all the days of our boyhood we read how that infatuated old ass, Balboa, looked out from the top…
Continue reading ➞ Riverboat Sam: “Night Surfing Not a Brilliant Idea”
T.S. Swanky: “War is Making TRUMP (and US) Great!” [Satire]
By T.S. Swanky, an imaginary, confused conservative. Any resemblance to any actual person or conservative columnist, living or dead, is an astounding coincidence. I confess that I was one of the many conservative "Never Trumpers" who said publicly before the election that I would under absolutely no circumstances stoop to voting for a guy that the most…
Continue reading ➞ T.S. Swanky: “War is Making TRUMP (and US) Great!” [Satire]
Let’s just build a wall around Wisconsin
Since the building of really big walls for the good of the nation is now a popular idea among some Americans, especially Republican presidential candidates and a former Republican presidential candidate, Wisconsin Republicans now governing the state should consider building a wall around the state's borders. Such a wall would keep the wrong people out and…
“VOT_ for Republicans!”– An Issue Ad for Our Times [Satire]
We at the Wisconsin Institute for Insisting that Issue Ads are Not About Electing Anybody (WIII . . .) have teamed up with the Wisconsin Club for Circumventing Justice and the Wisconsin Supremely Conservative Court to bring you the following nonpartisan advertisement on the issue of campaign finance reform. VOT_ for Republicans! Narrator: Are…
Continue reading ➞ “VOT_ for Republicans!”– An Issue Ad for Our Times [Satire]
Riverboat Sam: “Robot Love Not Worth It”
By Riverboat Sam, The Pacific's technical specialist/digital skeptic In my quite distant prime, if a man wanted to buy a woman for a while or longer there were cultural institutions he could avail himself of. Or if he was wealthy and not a total beast, a marriage proposal might do the trick. But soon, all a man (or…
An Anti-War Dog Speaks Out
(Photo in the public domain in the United States: Hulton Archive/Getty Images. "American actor Gloria Swanson (1899 - 1983) stands on tiptoes on the prow of a motorboat while Teddy the dog sits with his paws on the steering wheel in a still from director Clarence G Badger's film Teddy at the Throttle (1917)". ) By…
Riverboat Sam: To “Blog” is to Vomit
By Riverboat Sam, The Pacific's "technical specialist" I am not against the newfangled on principle; typewriting seemed to me a great improvement over my wayward handwriting and having the means I got one of those machines right away. Still got it, in fact. Still use it, too. When I told the editor of this electrical rag that…
Cartoon: “Mountaintop Decapitation” by Khalil Bendib
(Khalil Bendib is OtherWords’ cartoonist. OtherWords.org ) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/
T.S. Swanky: “Motherhood and Monopoly” [Satire]
(Mother's Day card, 1916 by Northern Pacific Railway (eBay item card front card back) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons) (Editor's Note: Former imaginary conservative columnist T.S. Swanky, aka "the voice of reason," asked to return for he fictionally failed to find suitable employment elsewhere. In southeastern Wisconsin these days conservative commentators are a dime a…
Continue reading ➞ T.S. Swanky: “Motherhood and Monopoly” [Satire]
Earth Calls the Governor [Satire]
(Photo by NASA Goddard Space Flight Center Image by Reto Stöckl [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons) By John Kaufman Earth (our home) called Gov. W. to chat about Earth Day. Though Earth tried to identify itself, the governor assumed the caller was somebody else. If there is any doubt, this is a work of fiction.…
“Dairyland” is Trending Obsolete [Satire]
[Photo by EPA, Public Domain] By Homer Coldfield (fictional farm & rural columnist *) I've been itching to get my turn at this digital soapbox to give you all a little perspective, especially you Wisconsin urban-ites driving around with "America's Dairyland" on your license plates as if you all identified with Holsteins and manure. Just…
Continue reading ➞ “Dairyland” is Trending Obsolete [Satire]
Riverboat Sam: “A Yankee in King Scott Walker’s Court”
[Photo by Underwood & Underwood (Public domain), via Wikimedia Commons] By Riverboat Sam As the "technical specialist" of this electrical rag, I am not supposed to butt in with my own political pontificating, but my residence in this here Wisconsin has so far been thoroughly provoking. Being quite advanced in age, I know humbug when…
Continue reading ➞ Riverboat Sam: “A Yankee in King Scott Walker’s Court”
T.S. Swanky: In Defense of Religious Intolerance [Satire]
[Editor's Note: Satire Warning!!! T.S. Swanky is an imaginary conservative columnist who, in the spirit of the First Amendment, is tolerated at The Pacific. Swanky's opinions are, of course, all his own and do not represent the general liberal enlightenment of this blog.] By T.S. Swanky *, imaginary, confused conservative It won't take me long to…
Continue reading ➞ T.S. Swanky: In Defense of Religious Intolerance [Satire]
