To Cheater Joe, I guess I’ll go. But I didn’t lose! (I hid all the booze.) I wasn’t a quitter ‘Til I got cancelled on Twitter. You think you won But I ain’t no bum! I’m getting arty, Will start a new Party! Call it the “Patriot”! It’ll be a riot. I hope ya fail!… Read More President Biden Finds a Note in the Oval Office: Satirical Poem
“Trump told Xi that Americans were clamoring for him to change the constitutional rules to serve more than two terms.” –Washington Post “They want me to stay president forever! I’m thinking maybe Communist is better.”
“Thank you all for coming, like dogs, again today. And thanks for agreeing to purchase and wear my latest campaign hat with the slogan, “Making Media Grovel Again.”… Read More Three Satirists Walk into a Daily White House Press Briefing
They’re having problems down in Florida.
They gettin’ corona blues from the New Yorkas.… Read More They’re Having Problems Down in Florida: Satirical Poem
There was an old man named O’Pious… Read More Limerick: To Pray in the Pub
Trump’s got a new “Commission on Unalienable Rights” Investigating whether there’s a thing called human rights For aliens & atheists & immigrants & kids And anyone who alienates It By the color of her skin.
“There’s only one thing worse than being effete; And that’s being a cosmopolitan elite! What we need is conservative nationalism: America white or wrong! You know, imperialism.”
Within the White House the forecast is “Stormy.” But the president swears that NOTHING porny Ever happened with that woman hushed With money that had NOTHING to do with slush. Lawyers pay off porn stars all the time Right before elections . . . with their own dime Without the knowledge of the one was… Read More Couplets: “It Was a Dark and STORMY Day”
By T.S. Swanky, an imaginary, confused conservative Civil liberties? Let’s just call them “liberal liberties” from now on. I was barely recovered from the shockingly disturbing news that President Trump and Steve Bannon were parting ways, when I read that the ACLU, which had bravely stood up for the rights of racists to express themselves… Read More T.S. Swanky: “A Gun is Free Speech” [Satire]
By John Kaufman Discussion in the Offal Oval Office of The White House via Great Generosity of Russia !Official Transcript! cc: U.S.A. Russian Foreign Minister: Hey, Donny. What’s new? President T.: I get great intel. I have people brief me on great intel every day. F.M.: No kidding. What’s “intel”? T. : You know, secret stuff. … Read More An Alleged Copy of a White House Transcript Provided Courtesy of Russia [Satire]
By Riverboat Sam, technical specialist/digital skeptic If brevity is the soul of wit, Twitter is the home of witlessness. The problem as it strikes a very old guy like me is as stated: Twitter is to publication like spitting is to art. OK, I’ll spell it out for you. Not many people are good at off… Read More Riverboat Sam: “Our President is Singing Like a Canary”
By T.S. Swanky, The Pacific’s imaginary, confused conservative When liberals say they value scientific theories like evolution and “global warming,” what they mean is that they like liberal science, the kind that makes them feel good about hating religion, industry and America. But what about conservative science, you know, all the research that confirms that corporations, President… Read More T.S. Swanky: “Darwin was Right About Health Care” [Satire]
“We hear all our lives about the ‘gentle, stormless Pacific,’ and about the ‘smooth and delightful route to the Sandwich Islands,’ and about the ‘steady blowing trades’ that never vary, never change, never ‘chop around,’ and all the days of our boyhood we read how that infatuated old ass, Balboa, looked out from the top… Read More Riverboat Sam: “Night Surfing Not a Brilliant Idea”
By T.S. Swanky, an imaginary, confused conservative. Any resemblance to any actual person or conservative columnist, living or dead, is an astounding coincidence. I confess that I was one of the many conservative “Never Trumpers” who said publicly before the election that I would under absolutely no circumstances stoop to voting for a guy that the most… Read More T.S. Swanky: “War is Making TRUMP (and US) Great!” [Satire]
Since the building of really big walls for the good of the nation is now a popular idea among some Americans, especially Republican presidential candidates and a former Republican presidential candidate, Wisconsin Republicans now governing the state should consider building a wall around the state’s borders. Such a wall would keep the wrong people out and… Read More Let’s just build a wall around Wisconsin
We at the Wisconsin Institute for Insisting that Issue Ads are Not About Electing Anybody (WIII . . .) have teamed up with the Wisconsin Club for Circumventing Justice and the Wisconsin Supremely Conservative Court to bring you the following nonpartisan advertisement on the issue of campaign finance reform. VOT_ for Republicans! Narrator: Are… Read More “VOT_ for Republicans!”– An Issue Ad for Our Times [Satire]
The Pacific 