Tag: Donald Trump
-
President Biden Finds a Note in the Oval Office: Satirical Poem
To Cheater Joe, I guess I’ll go. But I didn’t lose! (I hid all the booze.) I wasn’t a quitter ‘Til I got cancelled on Twitter. You think you won But I ain’t no bum! I’m getting arty, Will start a new Party! Call it the “Patriot”! It’ll be a riot. I hope ya fail! […]
-
As Trump Departs, Lessons from the MAGA Madness
Not long after America chose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton way back in November of 2016, Trump and Vice President-elect Mike Pence stopped by the Wisconsin State Fair Grounds in West Allis to offer thanks to the state for helping to put Trump–a notorious city slicker with a gift for divorce and lying–into the White […]
-
Trump to President Xi: Satirical Poem
“Trump told Xi that Americans were clamoring for him to change the constitutional rules to serve more than two terms.” –Washington Post “They want me to stay president forever! I’m thinking maybe Communist is better.”
-
They’re Having Problems Down in Florida: Satirical Poem
They’re having problems down in Florida. They gettin’ corona blues from the New Yorkas.
-
Couplets: “King of the Expedient”
If Trump banishes Mueller will Republicans banish him? Offhand I’d say the odds are much skinnier than slim. It’s going to take some form of electoral disobedience To evict a president who demands we pledge allegiance To him, to him, to him, to him, to him, to him–to Him! (“Fake news” if he should lose, […]
-
Couplets: “Tillerson, late of State . . .”
Tillerson, late of State, was fired by a tweet From the president, our “moron” (cheek!) As he was called, reportedly, by Till- erson, undiplomatically, but still . . .
-
Couplets: “It Was a Dark and STORMY Day”
Within the White House the forecast is “Stormy.” But the president swears that NOTHING porny Ever happened with that woman hushed With money that had NOTHING to do with slush. Lawyers pay off porn stars all the time Right before elections . . . with their own dime Without the knowledge of the one was […]
-
Couplets: “Trump’s Spin Cycle”
Trump’s Spin Cycle “There is no Chaos, only great Energy!” Said the guy trapped in the washing machine.
-
Introducing Rhymed Couplets in honor of the Trump Administration . . .
“Tough Love” Trump will issue tariffs in “a very loving way.” (He thinks that we will love him even when we lose our pay.)
-
Rumple Oxbridge: “The More War Sonnet for Afghanistan”
By Rumple Oxbridge, liberal lyricist Trump has a plan to fix Afghanistan: more war will do what war has not before. It is a plan not hard to understand his “war cabinet” advises–War fails? Try more. Eventually this war will have to end but stopping war before we win is like un-masculine and feminist. […]
-
An Alleged Copy of a White House Transcript Provided Courtesy of Russia [Satire]
![An Alleged Copy of a White House Transcript Provided Courtesy of Russia [Satire]](https://afternoonjournal.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/vladimir_putin_carrying_his_buddy_donald_trump.jpg?w=512)
By John Kaufman Discussion in the Offal Oval Office of The White House via Great Generosity of Russia !Official Transcript! cc: U.S.A. Russian Foreign Minister: Hey, Donny. What’s new? President T.: I get great intel. I have people brief me on great intel every day. F.M.: No kidding. What’s “intel”? T. : You know, secret stuff. […]
-
“War is the Health of the State”–But Not People
How’s this for a grand generalization? The United States is not great at providing health care and really good at waging war. And by “good” I do not mean effectively. We wage war a lot because we can afford to and very few Americans ever personally feel its considerable terrible effects. And we don’t do health care very effectively […]
-
Rumple Oxbridge: “Playing the Trump Card”
By Rumple Oxbridge (imaginary imaginer at The Pacific) House Speaker Paul Ryan spoke Donald Trump “is not conservatism.” Thus many Repubs are chumps because they think the Donald is the purest for of all the raving ranters he’s the surest. (When it comes to bigotry Trump’s a purist.) Trump wins the most conservatively-correct according […]
The Pacific 